Une femme demande à son mari :
- Est-ce que tu m'aimes par amour ou par intérêt ?
- Ça doit être par amour parce que ça fait longtemps que tu ne m'intéresses plus...
Une femme nue se regarde debout devant la glace.
Elle dit à son époux :
" Je me trouve horrible à regarder, grasse et ridée... J'ai besoin d'un compliment "
Le mari répond :
" Tu as une bonne vue ".
Quelle est la définition de la fidélité ?
Un manque d'occasions
A une heure avancée de la nuit, le téléphone sonne.
Le monsieur décroche le combiné.
Comment voulez-vous que je le sache ?
Dit-il au bout de quelques secondes.
Appelez plutôt la SNCF !
Qui était-ce ? Lui demande sa femme.
L’homme :
Aucune idée. Un type qui demande si la voie est libre
Une petite fille qui fait ses devoirs demande à son père Papa?
- Quelle différence il y a entre exciter et énerver ?
- Eh bien, je vais te prendre un exemple. Il y a 15 ans ta mère m'excitait, aujourd'hui elle m'énerve.
Secrétaire à son patron :
- J'ai deux nouvelles à vous annoncer, une bonne et une mauvaise.
- Commencez par la bonne.
- Vous n'êtes pas stérile
Une femme à son mari :
-Chéri, dis-moi ce que tu préfères : une femme jolie ou une femme intelligente ?
- Ni l'une ni l'autre, chérie, tu sais bien que je n'aime que toi .
Un invité murmure à sa voisine :
- Le champagne vous rend jolie.
- Mais, je n'en ai pas bu une seule coupe !
- Oui, mais moi, j'en suis à ma dixième ...
Un couple de randonneurs à la campagne. La femme :
- Chéri...Ce paysage me laisse sans voix
- Parfait, nous campons ici !
.....Au boulot et bon weekend à tous, et a toutes bien entendu......
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